I love Eddie Izzard. Funniest 8 minutes ever.
”In the ’30s, Hitler: Czechoslovakia, Poland, France, Second World War… Russian front not a good idea… Hitler never played Risk when he was a kid. Cause, you know, playing Risk, you could never hold on to Asia. That Asian-Eastern European area, you could never hold it, could you? Seven extra men at the beginning of every go, but you couldn’t fucking hold it. Australasia, that was the one. Australasia. All the purples. Get everyone on Papua New Guinea and just build up and build up…”
”Hitler ended up in a ditch covered in petrol on fire… so, that’s fun. I mean that’s funny. Because he was a mass-murdering fuck-head!”
”We stole countries! That’s how you build an empire. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Just sail halfway around the world, stick a flag in. “I claim India for Britain.” And they’re going, “You can’t claim us. We live here! There’s five hundred million of us.” “Do you have a flag?” “We don’t need a bloody flag, this is our country you bastard!” “No flag, no country! You can’t have one. That’s the rules… that… I’ve just made up!”
(via forodreamland)
Imperium Fail.
Take that Spain! I’m not sure where this chart was made, but for pretty much every country who once had aspirations to be an Empire this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black.
This amuses me, reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw years ago that said something like “Portugal: World Power for 15 Seconds”
